What is life?

I don’t even know at this point. I keep thinking of my past. How it might have changed if I had done one thing and not the other. If I had done the expected, or if I had gone the rebellious route.

I’ve always been sort of in the middle. In that state of limbo. Not too good. Not too bad. Good enough to never get in trouble. Bad enough to not be the evil one in class.

I was always that girl who had their homework ready, but never said anything about it, because nobody likes that person. Nobody likes a snitch. Or at least that’s what society has taught us.

Even now. I’m 21 years old, about to turn 22 and I don’t like being that person. Don’t get me wrong, if there’s something morally wrong with what’s happening, I will speak out.

I simply mean in that generalist moment when other people are slacking off, and I’ve got to pick up their slack sort-of-way. At least, that’s what I’ve learned about myself in the last couple of days.

I’m not sure where this expectation is rooted. I’m not sure if it’s an American thing, or a Colombian thing, or simply my own personality, but I feel like there’s a reason why it’s so wrong to expect individuals to do their part.

It’s like it’s always about: “do your part in saving the environment, recycle” or “do your part in creating peace by negating violence” or “do your part in ending racism by calling out other’s when they’re being racist.”

There’s technically nothing wrong with these statements, but isn’t it sad that we even need to use them? As human beings we should naturally want to help our environment, live in peace, and respect each other as equals. Yet we don’t. We opt for a life where being a caring human is an option. Being good needs to be hidden, because by doing one thing we might disturb the other.

What if by telling you that you’re being racist, chaos breaks loose? So did I just technically do good but not too good? Yes. I did. That is the balance in which society has been built.

And as that person who wants to build a better world, and who sees the contradictions between what is right and what will maintains the peace… I ask of you, please try and be human. A good human. A kind human.

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